Funny bourdain quotes

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Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

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Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

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There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

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Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

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I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

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Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

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Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

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Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

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Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

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Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.