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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

Updated

3 hours ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Trending via WhatsApp:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Going viral on Twitch:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Going viral on Twitch:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

Updated

3 hours ago

Users Online

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Exorcist came by. Says house isn’t possessed, just incredibly poorly built.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Is this art or trash?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Just landed via Threads:

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

Breaking via X:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Just landed via Slack:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Just shared via WeChat:

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

Making waves on Facebook:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug, but you’re not gonna like the performance.

Trending via Reddit:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

Trending via TikTok:

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

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