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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,672

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Spotted on Reddit:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Breaking via Threads:

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

Spotted on Instagram:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

Making waves on Messenger:

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Funny brown rice quotes

New funny brown rice quotes 👇

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

3 weeks ago

brown, brown rice, calendar, cooking, egg, food, humor, management, perfect, perfectly, rice, tell, time, time management, timer

All funny brown rice quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Telegram this month:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

99 shares on Discord this month:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

Through pottery, we domesticated rocks.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

This cucumber Gatorade got me quenched in an unprecedented manner.

53 shares on Discord this month:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Just shared via Twitch:

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

Making waves on Pinterest:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Spotted on TikTok:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

Going viral on X:

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

Making waves on X:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny brown rice quotes

New funny brown rice quotes 👇

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

All funny brown rice quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨