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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Trending via Telegram:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Shared recently on Reddit:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Going viral on X:

Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

Just landed via Slack:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Breaking via X:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Live now on Messenger:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Going viral on Discord:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Freshly posted on X:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,457

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

Live now on Slack:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Seen just now on Reddit:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Seen just now on Slack:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Just landed via Threads:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Just landed via Facebook:

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Trending via Snapchat:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

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