Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Ever been in the car with someone who drives so fast that you press your imaginary brakes on the passenger side?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,308

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

Shared recently on Threads:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The Face ID on my phone won’t work until it sees the loss of hope in my eyes.

Trending via Discord:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Just shared via YouTube:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

Trending via Messenger:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

Going viral on Slack:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Shared recently on Threads:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Spotted on Snapchat:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Funny bungee jump quotes

Funny bungee jump quotes are the perfect way to capture that wild mix of thrill and laughter before you take the plunge! 😜🪂 Whether you’re a fearless daredevil or just here for the jokes, these hilarious lines will have you grinning from the edge. Get ready to bounce into some epic humor and silly vibes that make the leap even more memorable! 😂💥 #AdventureLaughs

New funny bungee jump quotes 👇

All funny bungee jump quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on YouTube this month:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

81 shares on Slack this month:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

10 shares on X this month:

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter will always be your best app if you’re single, funny, or just depressed.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,726

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Making waves on Facebook:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Just landed via Threads:

When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed. When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

Spotted on Messenger:

I can’t wait for the “international law” crowd to discover that “human rights” aren’t real, either.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

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