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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,903

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

2 seconds ago

Users Online

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Just shared via Threads:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Breaking via Twitch:

Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

Spotted on TikTok:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

Trending via Discord:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Going viral on Messenger:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Shared recently on X:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,903

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

2 seconds ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Shared recently on X:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Just shared via Messenger:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Seen just now on Slack:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Breaking via X:

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

Live now on WeChat:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Seen just now on Reddit:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

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