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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

Broadcasted on X:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

Trending via Reddit:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Just shared via Discord:

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

Funny Canadian Thanksgiving quotes

New funny Canadian Thanksgiving quotes 👇

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

0

2 months ago

Canada, Canadian, Canadian Thanksgiving, day, every, everything, food, gravy, holiday, humor, put, same, Thanksgiving, tradition, us

Someone from 🇨🇷 has recently copied this quote.

58 shares on Snapchat this month.

All funny Canadian Thanksgiving quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Instagram this month:

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

Why am I scrolling? What am I searching for?

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

15 shares on Slack this month:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

47 shares on Twitch this month:

The question “how is work” really pisses me off. Work is work, bro, I don’t know what else you want me to say.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Shared recently on Slack:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Frodo is a beautiful name for a boy. Has a ring to it.

Making waves on WeChat:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Just shared via Messenger:

Does the HDMI cord have the most dominant run of any cord ever?

Making waves on Slack:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Spotted on WeChat:

Book reviews be like: “5 stars. I’m sobbing. I’m unwell. I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. Highly recommend.”

Making waves on Messenger:

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

Just landed via X:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny Canadian Thanksgiving quotes

New funny Canadian Thanksgiving quotes 👇

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

All funny Canadian Thanksgiving quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨