Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,331

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

Live now on Twitch:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Making waves on TikTok:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Just shared via Discord:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

Going viral on Instagram:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Going bananas on Discord:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Funny can’t quotes

Funny can’t quotes bring a burst of laughter 😂 and a sprinkle of sass 😜 to those moments when life feels impossible. They turn “can’t” into a cheeky challenge 💪, reminding us that sometimes the best way to face obstacles is with humor and a wink 😉. Ready to giggle and get inspired? Let’s dive into some hilarious takes on the word that loves to hold us back—can’t! 🚀✨

New funny can’t quotes 👇

All funny can’t quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Threads this month:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

84 shares on Facebook this month:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

22 shares on X this month:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

21 shares on Discord this month:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

47 shares on X this month:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

22 shares on Slack this month:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

I missed out on drowning tragically young in a suburban swimming pool.

70 shares on Discord this month:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

21 folks are currently checking 👀

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,438

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Broadcasted on Slack:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Spotted on Slack:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Live now on Twitch:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Trending via Pinterest:

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Over Christmas, some bastard has snuck into my house, gone into my wardrobe, stolen my work trousers, and replaced them with a smaller pair.

Spotted on X:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

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