Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,601

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Going bananas on TikTok:

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

Just landed via WeChat:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Trending via Instagram:

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Funny career choice quotes

New funny career choice quotes 👇

All funny career choice quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Slack this month:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

24 shares on Threads this month:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

97 shares on Slack this month:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.

11 shares on Slack this month:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,283

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

Just shared via Reddit:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Making waves on Twitch:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m still repaying karmic debt from that time I was 12 and gave the middle finger to a cow at the state fair.

Just landed via Telegram:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Spotted on Twitch:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Making waves on Instagram:

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

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