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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I want this laziness removed from my body.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,740

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Spreading quickly via Discord:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Just shared via TikTok:

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Just landed via TikTok:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

Funny carpe quotes

New funny carpe quotes 👇

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

4 weeks ago

carpe, Carpe Diem, diem, humor, irony, know, Latin, Latin phrase, life, life motto, means, motto, people, phrase, sarcasm, slang, stupid, stupidity, yolo

All funny carpe quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

93 shares on Slack this month:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

76 shares on Discord this month:

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

47 shares on Discord this month:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

42 shares on Slack this month:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is optimism.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Shared recently on Twitch:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Breaking via Telegram:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Just shared via Discord:

I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

Live now on Reddit:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Making waves on X:

Please hesitate to reach out.

Spotted on Reddit:

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny carpe quotes

New funny carpe quotes 👇

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

All funny carpe quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨