Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,552

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Breaking via Telegram:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Just shared via Discord:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Making waves on Reddit:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Making waves on YouTube:

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

Seen just now on X:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

Going viral on Instagram:

Is there a job where I can lay on the floor and listen to music?

Just shared via TikTok:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Funny Carpe Diem quotes

New funny Carpe Diem quotes 👇

All funny Carpe Diem quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Twitch this month:

Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

11 shares on Discord this month:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

28 shares on X this month:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

Lord, take away my suffering and give it to anyone who’s ever said, ‘Hey, Grok.’

82 shares on YouTube this month:

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

81 shares on Threads this month:

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

20 shares on Slack this month:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

69 shares on X this month:

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

For whom the doom scrolls!

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Muting morons is good for your health.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,504

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Just shared via Messenger:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Spotted on Discord:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Going viral on Slack:

After nearly 40 years, I finally came to understand why some men slip away into a quiet, private life, far from the masses.

Going viral on Threads:

You are the Monday of my life.

Just shared via Pinterest:

This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Shared recently on Facebook:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

Seen just now on X:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

Going viral on Pinterest:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

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