Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,484

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Making waves on Threads:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Spotted on Instagram:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Freshly posted on Threads:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Seen just now on WeChat:

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

Just shared via Slack:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Funny catalyst quotes

New funny catalyst quotes 👇

Damn, I just realized that the future idealized version of myself can’t exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things.

6 days ago

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All funny catalyst quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Twitch this month:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

23 shares on X this month:

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

63 shares on Slack this month:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Just shared via WeChat:

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

Shared recently on WeChat:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Just landed via Discord:

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

Just landed via Threads:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

Going viral on Discord:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny catalyst quotes

New funny catalyst quotes 👇

Damn, I just realized that the future idealized version of myself can’t exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things.

All funny catalyst quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨