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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Spotted on Instagram:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Reported on Slack:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Going viral on Facebook:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Just landed via Slack:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

Trending via TikTok:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Going viral on X:

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

Trending via Instagram:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

Just shared via TikTok:

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Having a job ruined my life.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Making waves on Facebook:

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Reported on LinkedIn:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Reported on Twitch:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

Just landed via YouTube:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Live now on Messenger:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Just landed via Snapchat:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Live now on Reddit:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Trending via Snapchat:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

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