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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,548

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,548

Nov 27, 2025

4,006

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

Just shared via X:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Going viral on Telegram:

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Going viral on Instagram:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Just shared via Threads:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Seen just now on Threads:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Making waves on Messenger:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Trending via Facebook:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Home » Funny Childproof Quotes

Funny childproof quotes

Funny childproof quotes bring a hilarious twist to the challenges of parenting and keeping little explorers safe 🧸🔒! From clever takes on baby-proofing fails to witty wisdom about tiny troublemakers, these quotes turn everyday chaos into laughs 😂🎉. Perfect for sharing with fellow parents or brightening up your day, they remind us that a sense of humor is the best safety net when raising kids 🚼💫!

New funny childproof quotes 👇

3 weeks ago

Commentary:
"Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still struggling with basic adulting skills? 🙈 Maybe they should start with making things 'adultproof' instead! 🤣 #AdultingWoes"

adulthood, childproof, dexterity, humor, kindergarten, level, still, struggles, things
3 weeks ago

Commentary:
Looks like those sneaky little masterminds have cracked the code! 🧒🔓🏡 Who needs a key when you've got determination and bendy little fingers, right? 😄 Just remember, it's all fun and games until they discover your secret stash of chocolate! 🍫 #KidsWillBeKids

childproof, house, humor, i, irony, kids, parenting, safety

All funny childproof quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,548

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,548

Nov 27, 2025

3,910

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Just landed via Twitch:

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

Making waves on Reddit:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Breaking via Facebook:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

Just shared via Twitch:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

Trending via Snapchat:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

Going viral on Instagram:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Seen just now on X:

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

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