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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

It’s called single sign-on because you have to do it every single time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,532

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

Going bananas on X:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Shared recently on Telegram:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Going viral on TikTok:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

Trending via Messenger:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Funny cinephile quotes

New funny cinephile quotes 👇

All funny cinephile quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

The two most popular things to do on the internet are arguing about politics and looking at naked people. Million dollar website idea: combine both — naked people arguing about politics.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

84 shares on Facebook this month:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,653

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Tested positive for being single af

Seen just now on Threads:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Shared recently on Messenger:

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Shared recently on Instagram:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

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