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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

What pushes you to watch 19 seasons of people in a hospital?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Welcome to Elephant in the Room club, no one talks about it.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,513

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

Just landed via Reddit:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Trending via Snapchat:

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Just landed via Pinterest:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

Just landed via Discord:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

Going bananas on Instagram:

The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Spotted on Reddit:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

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All funny claw clip quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Reddit this month:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

91 shares on Threads this month:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

41 shares on Slack this month:

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,656

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Hand sanitizer will find a cut you didn’t even know you had.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Being an adult feels like, “If I can just get through this week, I’ll be okay,” but it’s every damn week.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

Just landed via TikTok:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Just landed via X:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

Spotted on Reddit:

They should add a live chat to every Wikipedia article.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Making waves on Threads:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Seen just now on Slack:

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

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