Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,971

Funny Quotes Topics

14,774

Funny Quotes Images

11,971

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

Just landed via YouTube:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Trending via Snapchat:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Shared recently on Facebook:

The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Shared recently on X:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

Trending via Reddit:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

Home » Funny Closing Time Quotes

Funny closing time quotes

New funny closing time quotes 👇

For even more funny closing time quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny closing time quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,971

Funny Quotes Topics

14,774

Funny Quotes Images

11,971

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,451

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Just because talking is for you doesn’t mean that starting a podcast is.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

Just shared via Threads:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Trending via Discord:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Shared recently on Slack:

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Just landed via Snapchat:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Shared recently on YouTube:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Making waves on Telegram:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴