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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

This Monday could have been an email.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,661

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

Going viral on Telegram:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

Just shared via X:

Work for a living? In this economy?

Just shared via Facebook:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Seen just now on Facebook:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

Funny commercial break quotes

New funny commercial break quotes 👇

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

2 weeks ago

break, breaks, commercial, commercial break, comparison, feel, humor, movie, relaxation, short, short break, stress, stressful, weekend

All funny commercial break quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Twitch this month:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

81 shares on Slack this month:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

44 shares on Reddit this month:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

I used to really want to be understood. Now I mainly just want things like snacks and juice.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Therapy? I have Spotify.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Before you beef with me, just know I’m deeply malicious to my core once upset.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

My life is a movie, and it has a 47% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Breaking via Messenger:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

Going viral on Instagram:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Trending via Facebook:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

Just shared via X:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

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Funny commercial break quotes

New funny commercial break quotes 👇

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

All funny commercial break quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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