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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

Just shared via WeChat:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Making waves on X:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

Just shared via Instagram:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

Making waves on Messenger:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Just shared via WeChat:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

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Funny correctness quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Trending via YouTube:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Going viral on Telegram:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

Live now on WeChat:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Making waves on WeChat:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Just shared via X:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Going viral on Slack:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

Making waves on WeChat:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

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