Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,308

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Just shared via Discord:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Trending via Twitch:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Trending via Instagram:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Going bananas on Discord:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Trending via Slack:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Funny crossroads quotes

Funny crossroads quotes bring a hilarious twist to those life moments when you’re stuck deciding which way to go 🤔😂 Whether you’re facing big choices or just confused about what’s next, these witty lines will have you laughing through the uncertainty 🚦😆 Ready to embrace the chaos with a smile? Let’s dive into some clever and quirky takes on those tricky intersections of life! 🎉🛣️

New funny crossroads quotes 👇

All funny crossroads quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Messenger this month:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

45 shares on WeChat this month:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

81 shares on X this month:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

I have thought one billion times about everything.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,440

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Spotted on Twitch:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

Trending via TikTok:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

Just landed via X:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

Trending via Twitch:

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My bra isn’t just padded — it’s also filled with cookie and chip crumbs.

Going viral on Discord:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴