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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I probably think this song is about me.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

12 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Freshly posted on X:

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

Going viral on Reddit:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Trending via WeChat:

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Reported on Messenger:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Reported on Threads:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

12 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

Shared recently on TikTok:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Just shared via YouTube:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Just shared via Twitch:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

Spotted on Twitch:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Just landed via Threads:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Just landed via WeChat:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Trending via Slack:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

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