Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,373

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Trending via YouTube:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Shared recently on YouTube:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

Breaking via Reddit:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Spotted on Twitch:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Trending via Messenger:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Just landed via Facebook:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

Funny dioxide quotes

Funny dioxide quotes bring a breath of fresh air (or maybe a puff of gas) to your day! 🌬️😂 Whether you’re a science nerd or just love clever wordplay, these witty lines about carbon dioxide and its quirky role in our world will have you laughing and thinking at the same time. Ready to giggle and geek out? Let’s dive into some seriously silly dioxide humor! 💨🤣🔬

New funny dioxide quotes 👇

All funny dioxide quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Slack this month:

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

A Monday every week is excessive.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

39 shares on X this month:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,427

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

Going viral on Facebook:

Can we skip to the rich part?

Spreading quickly via Slack:

They should invent someone who holds me.

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