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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

A garlic a day keeps people away.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

Making waves on Instagram:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

Just shared via Threads:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Going bananas on Instagram:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Funny dr. quotes

Funny dr. quotes are the perfect prescription for a good laugh 😂💉 Whether you’re a patient or just love medical humor, these witty sayings bring a dose of fun to the world of stethoscopes and syringes 🩺🤣 Get ready to chuckle at the lighter side of healthcare and share some smiles with your favorite doc-approved jokes! 😄👩‍⚕️👨‍⚕️

New funny dr. quotes 👇

All funny dr. quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

34 shares on Slack this month:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

To think that billions in venture capital have been deployed because it was annoying to copy and paste from ChatGPT.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

51 shares on WeChat this month:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I had too much to think last night.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The adult in the room just addressed the elephant in the room.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,595

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Trending via Snapchat:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Just shared via Slack:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

Going viral on X:

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

Trending via Messenger:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Breaking via YouTube:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

Going viral on TikTok:

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

Breaking via Discord:

Cleaning out your camera roll is like the biggest chore ever.

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