Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Dear algo, please only show this post to benevolent aliens.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,344

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Once you turn 25 years and above, there is no need to set an alarm. Your problems will wake you up by force.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

Seen just now on Slack:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Making waves on Reddit:

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

Broadcasted on Slack:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Just shared via Messenger:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Going bananas on Slack:

Can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. You just sound like a vampire.

Funny dr. quotes

Funny dr. quotes are the perfect prescription for a good laugh 😂💉 Whether you’re a patient or just love medical humor, these witty sayings bring a dose of fun to the world of stethoscopes and syringes 🩺🤣 Get ready to chuckle at the lighter side of healthcare and share some smiles with your favorite doc-approved jokes! 😄👩‍⚕️👨‍⚕️

New funny dr. quotes 👇

All funny dr. quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Twitch this month:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

34 shares on Discord this month:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

36 shares on X this month:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

95 shares on Threads this month:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

87 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

86 shares on Discord this month:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

97 shares on Slack this month:

One thing I expect that we will learn from the vibe coding era is that most ‘idea guys’ don’t actually have very good ideas.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,414

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

Trending via Threads:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

Seen just now on Threads:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Making waves on Discord:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Spotted on YouTube:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Live now on Snapchat:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Breaking via TikTok:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

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