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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I suffer from awesomnia.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,998

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Making waves on Reddit:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Seen just now on Reddit:

Windmill? Big fan.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

Spotted on Threads:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Spotted on Snapchat:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

Going viral on Slack:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Trending via WeChat:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Just shared via Threads:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Home » Funny Dry Phone Quotes

Funny dry phone quotes

New funny dry phone quotes 👇

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

0

3 months ago

addiction, dry, dry phone, humor, much, phone, screen, screen time, someone, technology, time, too, usage

All funny dry phone quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Threads this month:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

17 shares on Threads this month:

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

21 shares on Slack this month:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

51 shares on Threads this month:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Just shared via Twitch:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Live now on YouTube:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Just landed via Slack:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Making waves on Threads:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny dry phone quotes

New funny dry phone quotes 👇

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

All funny dry phone quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨