Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I like to think of myself as an onion. Peel back the many layers and deep down inside you’ll find a smaller, more anxious onion.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,581

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Just shared via Slack:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Just landed via Twitch:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Just landed via Slack:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

Making waves on X:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Live now on Discord:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

Funny evaluation quotes

New funny evaluation quotes 👇

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

0

2 months ago

abandoned, abandoned quarry, boss, evaluation, funny situation, humor, me, meet, meeting, midnight, odd, odd request, performance, performance evaluation, quarry, request, situation, told, unusual, unusual meeting, work, work humor

Someone from 🇰🇭 has recently shared this quote.

86 shares on Instagram this month.

All funny evaluation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

62 shares on Threads this month:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I put the hot in psychotic.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I’ve calculated my December budget and realized I can only afford to pray.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Do you think Yoda says “7-6” instead?

Breaking via X:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Breaking via Threads:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Going viral on Discord:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

Just landed via Facebook:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

Going bananas on X:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny evaluation quotes

New funny evaluation quotes 👇

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

All funny evaluation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨