Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,340

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Trending via WhatsApp:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Breaking via Discord:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Going bananas on Discord:

Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

Breaking via Snapchat:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Just landed via TikTok:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Just shared via X:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Trending via Facebook:

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on X this month:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

11 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

61 shares on Slack this month:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

70 shares on Slack this month:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

50 shares on Threads this month:

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,386

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Breaking via Instagram:

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

Breaking via Instagram:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Spotted on Slack:

That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

Seen just now on Threads:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Going bananas on Twitch:

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Millennials are so young because we were never allowed to grow up. Still living like broke college kids in our 40s.

Making waves on TikTok:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

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