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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

Updated

16 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Shared recently on WeChat:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

Trending via Discord:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Just landed via Instagram:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Live now on Facebook:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

Freshly posted on X:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

Updated

16 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Shared recently on YouTube:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Just shared via YouTube:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Just shared via Discord:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Spreading quickly via X:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

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