Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,270

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Shared recently on Threads:

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

Just landed via WeChat:

It would be nice to see basic human decency make a comeback.

Seen just now on Threads:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

Shared recently on Reddit:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

Live now on LinkedIn:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Funny fingerprint quotes

New funny fingerprint quotes 👇

All funny fingerprint quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

10 shares on Discord this month:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

83 shares on Instagram this month:

If Stranger Things was British, it would be called ‘Bit odd, innit?’

33 shares on X this month:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

95 shares on Slack this month:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

47 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Love is in the air fryer.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,722

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

Live now on YouTube:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Breaking via YouTube:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Seen just now on X:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

Trending via Discord:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Just landed via Messenger:

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

Spotted on Reddit:

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴