Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,300

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

Making waves on Messenger:

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I don’t understand why banks get so mad when you can’t pay back your loan. You already knew I had no money when I came to borrow it.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

Broadcasted on Threads:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Funny foot rub quotes

New funny foot rub quotes 👇

All funny foot rub quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Reddit this month:

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

16 shares on Discord this month:

There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

35 shares on Threads this month:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

I won’t be doing Dry January, because who was there for me during the happy times and the hard times? Not broccoli.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

83 shares on X this month:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t pay attention to the world ending. It has ended for me many times, and began again in the morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,319

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

The world started without permission again.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I can’t explain it, but I am very bold and very shy at the same time.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

British people be like “YouChube.”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

Spotted on Instagram:

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

Trending via Discord:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

Just shared via Facebook:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

Just landed via X:

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Making waves on WeChat:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

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