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Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Summer is the time when it’s too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Body by sandwich.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,941

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Just shared via Twitch:

In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.

Going viral on Facebook:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Breaking via Discord:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

Seen just now on Discord:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Life begins when you can afford it.

Making waves on Discord:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Seen just now on X:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

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Funny funny analogy quotes

New funny funny analogy quotes 👇

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, analogy, bed, comparison, dog, funny analogy, gas, gas station, hot, hot dog, human, humor, i, self-deprecating, station, stop, tanning, tanning bed, thinking, version

All funny funny analogy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on TikTok this month:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

33 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

98 shares on Slack this month:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

79 shares on X this month:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

100 shares on Discord this month:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

My brain has too many tabs open.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Instagram is literally just screenshots of Twitter.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Breaking via Threads:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

Spotted on Discord:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Seen just now on Discord:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Just landed via Discord:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

Going bananas on X:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Seen just now on Slack:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Making waves on Slack:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Going viral on Pinterest:

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

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Funny funny analogy quotes

New funny funny analogy quotes 👇

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

All funny funny analogy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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