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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,955

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,955

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Going viral on Twitch:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

Trending via Messenger:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

Breaking via Facebook:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

793 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,955

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,955

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Shared recently on Discord:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Trending via WeChat:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Elections is like waiting for the results of a biopsy, except half your family hopes it’s cancer.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Just shared via Slack:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

Trending via Reddit:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Making waves on Facebook:

January is the Monday of the year.

Just shared via Facebook:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Live now on Facebook:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

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