Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,611

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Spotted on Snapchat:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Shared recently on X:

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Trending via Snapchat:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Going viral on Twitch:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

If I say I love you, it’s just the apocalypse talking.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

Funny ghost story quotes

Funny ghost story quotes 👻 are the perfect blend of spooky and silly, turning eerie tales into laugh-out-loud moments! Whether you love haunted house humor or paranormal puns, these witty lines bring a lighthearted twist to ghostly encounters 🎃✨. Get ready to giggle instead of shiver as we dive into some boo-tifully funny sayings that make the supernatural super fun! 😂👀

New funny ghost story quotes 👇

All funny ghost story quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

14 shares on X this month:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

12 shares on Slack this month:

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, I am super annoying, but don’t worry, it’s just permanent.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

That stupid look on my face is my face.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,757

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Have to wear real clothes on Monday. Pray for me.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

Just shared via Telegram:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Trending via Facebook:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Trending via Facebook:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Broadcasted on WeChat:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Seen just now on Telegram:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

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