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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

The only thing I don’t miss about the 90s is people smelling like cigarettes.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,345

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

Just landed via Instagram:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Going bananas on X:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Just shared via YouTube:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Just shared via YouTube:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

Just shared via Discord:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Shared recently on Threads:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Funny good people quotes

Funny good people quotes bring a smile 😄 while celebrating kindness 💖 and all the quirky ways good folks make the world brighter 🌟. Whether you’re feeling grateful or just need a laugh 😂, these witty gems remind us that being good doesn’t mean boring! Ready to giggle and feel warm inside? Let’s dive into some clever, heartwarming humor that’s perfect for sharing with your favorite humans! 🥳✨

New funny good people quotes 👇

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

4 weeks ago

bad, bad things, break, cookie, frustration, good, good people, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, milk, moment, people, snack, things
Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

1 month ago

family, funny situation, good, good people, humor, i, internet, last, night, people, situation, spent, time, time spent, working

All funny good people quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Telegram this month:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

38 shares on Slack this month:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

57 shares on X this month:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

96 shares on Slack this month:

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It amazes me how many battles in the first two years of the Civil War were decided by which side woke up the earliest.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,505

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Breaking via Discord:

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

Breaking via Reddit:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Trending via Messenger:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Making waves on Discord:

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

Spotted on YouTube:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Going bananas on Threads:

(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.

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