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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Just landed via Reddit:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Going viral on TikTok:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

Live now on X:

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Going viral on Messenger:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Making waves on Slack:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Reported on Slack:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

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Funny grandfather clock quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Live now on Threads:

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

Going viral on Messenger:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Just shared via Snapchat:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Just landed via Instagram:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Making waves on Snapchat:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Shared recently on Slack:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Trending via Threads:

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Making waves on Threads:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

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