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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

14 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Trending via Instagram:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Trending via Threads:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Making waves on Snapchat:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Just landed via Pinterest:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Just shared via WeChat:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Just shared via Threads:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Home » Funny Handyman Quotes

Funny handyman quotes

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All funny handyman quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

14 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Reported on WeChat:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Making waves on Twitch:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Trending via Discord:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Just landed via Snapchat:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Shared recently on X:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Trending via WeChat:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

Trending via WeChat:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Breaking via Twitch:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

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