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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,405

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Spotted on Discord:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Making waves on Twitch:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

Going viral on Threads:

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

Just landed via TikTok:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Breaking via Reddit:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

Funny headwear quotes

New funny headwear quotes 👇

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

1 week ago

activity, baseball, baseball cap, baseball player, both, cap, challenge, dating, funny activity, hard, headwear, humor, kissing, player, players, sports, while

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Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

90 shares on Threads this month:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

42 shares on WeChat this month:

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

30 shares on Threads this month:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

74 shares on X this month:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

82 shares on Threads this month:

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

49 shares on Reddit this month:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

Live now on Instagram:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Trending via Pinterest:

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

Just landed via Facebook:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Just landed via X:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Seen just now on Threads:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

Trending via Telegram:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

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Funny headwear quotes

New funny headwear quotes 👇

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

All funny headwear quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨