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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,974

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Just shared via Telegram:

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

Trending via Slack:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Spotted on Messenger:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

Making waves on Threads:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Trending via Pinterest:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Home » Funny Hide Quotes » Page 3

22 Funny hide quotes

More funny hide quotes 👇

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

0

2 months ago

2010, exhaustion, fact, hide, humor, looking, moisturizer, self-care, skincare, tired
So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

0

2 months ago

activity, game, hide, hide and seek, me, night, phone, seek, winning

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All funny hide quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Messenger this month:

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

Anyone want to meet up and just scream… We could get food after.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

66 shares on Discord this month:

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

52 shares on Slack this month:

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Live now on Discord:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Trending via TikTok:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

Just shared via Twitch:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

Just shared via Instagram:

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Shared recently on Messenger:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

Trending via Pinterest:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

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Activity Log ✨

22 Funny hide quotes

More funny hide quotes 👇

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

All funny hide quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨