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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,550

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Making waves on TikTok:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Live now on Facebook:

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

Spotted on X:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

Making waves on Pinterest:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

Just landed via Messenger:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Going bananas on Messenger:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Live now on YouTube:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Funny humor in fitness quotes

New funny humor in fitness quotes 👇

All funny humor in fitness quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Discord this month:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

60 shares on X this month:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

79 shares on Slack this month:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

48 shares on Threads this month:

Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Beginning of August is always wild because it’s peak summertime, but the veil is so thin, like it’s Halloween.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,573

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Living la vida taco!

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Chasing after a ping pong ball is wildly dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Making waves on X:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Making waves on Facebook:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Spreading quickly via X:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Breaking via Discord:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Just shared via Facebook:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Breaking via Slack:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Trending via Snapchat:

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

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