Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Letting her be the passenger princess cause I care about my safety.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Twitter is an abusement park.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,683

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Just landed via Twitch:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Spotted on Messenger:

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Just landed via Telegram:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Trending via Snapchat:

A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

Going viral on TikTok:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Funny hurry quotes

Funny hurry quotes 🚀 bring a splash of laughter to those chaotic moments when time just isn’t on your side ⏰😅 Whether you’re racing against the clock or trying to catch that last bus 🚌, these witty sayings turn stress into smiles 😄✨ Get ready to giggle your way through the rush and embrace the chaos with a lighthearted twist! 🎉💨

New funny hurry quotes 👇

The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.

0

4 days ago

aging, being, humor, hurry, i, life, live, older, realization, realize, terrible
The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

0

2 weeks ago

after, aging, commute, drive, driving, extra, hate, home, house, hurry, i, late, making, older, stop, work
No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

0

4 weeks ago

adult, adulting, being, destination, frustration, humor, hurry, irony, just, life, life truth, me, place, responsibility, somewhere, truth, want, warned
Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

0

2 months ago

frustration, humor, hurry, laptop, slowness, technology
Don’t ever let your computer feel that you’re in a hurry, cause they’re gonna slow down more.

0

2 months ago

computer, humor, hurry, irony, procrastination, slow, slow down, technology

All funny hurry quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on TikTok this month:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

22 shares on Threads this month:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

32 shares on Slack this month:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

56 shares on Threads this month:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine being a bald vampire and every time you walk by a mirror your toupée is just floating.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,566

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

Going viral on YouTube:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

Live now on WeChat:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

Trending via Reddit:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Freshly posted on Slack:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Making waves on Snapchat:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

Live now on Instagram:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

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