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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,402

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Making waves on Messenger:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

Going bananas on Reddit:

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Live now on Messenger:

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

Going bananas on Messenger:

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

Just shared via Telegram:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Spotted on Threads:

Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?

Funny impersonation quotes

Funny impersonation quotes bring endless laughs 🎭😂 by capturing those hilarious moments when someone nails a quirky voice or personality! Whether it’s mimicking celebrities, friends, or iconic characters, these witty lines 🎤✨ highlight the art of playful mimicry and brighten up any conversation. Ready to giggle and get inspired to perfect your own impression? Let’s dive into the world of comedic mimicry that’s sure to tickle your funny bone! 🎉🤣

New funny impersonation quotes 👇

All funny impersonation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Messenger this month:

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

81 shares on Twitch this month:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

16 shares on Threads this month:

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

65 shares on Twitch this month:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

74 shares on Discord this month:

Every few months, the urge to eat buttered toast will possess you.

27 shares on Discord this month:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,298

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Just landed via Threads:

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

Going viral on Slack:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

Just shared via Messenger:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Making waves on Instagram:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Going viral on Messenger:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Live now on Discord:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

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