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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,969

Funny Quotes Topics

14,774

Funny Quotes Images

11,969

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

Making waves on Discord:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Spotted on X:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Just shared via X:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Just shared via Messenger:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Just landed via Reddit:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Going viral on X:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Trending via X:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

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Funny invoicing quotes

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New Funny Quotes
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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,969

Funny Quotes Topics

14,774

Funny Quotes Images

11,969

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Trending via Twitch:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

Going viral on Twitch:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Just landed via Messenger:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

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