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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

The female ability to be able to guess exactly which girl it is out of his 740 following.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,680

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

Making waves on Threads:

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

Making waves on Instagram:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Just landed via YouTube:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Trending via WeChat:

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

Just shared via Threads:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Funny itchy quotes

Funny itchy quotes are here to scratch that itch of boredom! 🐜😆 Whether it’s a pesky mosquito or an unexpected rash, these witty lines will have you giggling through the itchiness. From hilarious takes on scratching dilemmas to cheeky puns that tickle your funny bone, get ready to laugh and scratch along! 🖐️😂 #ItchyAndFunny #ScratchThatLaugh

New funny itchy quotes 👇

All funny itchy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Slack this month:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

10 shares on Threads this month:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

49 shares on Slack this month:

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

60 shares on Threads this month:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

47 shares on X this month:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem is I am always the problem.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,465

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

A friend of mine decided to cut all the toxic people out of his life, or so I was informed.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

Trending via Snapchat:

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

Spotted on Discord:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

Making waves on TikTok:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Making waves on Threads:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

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