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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

Breaking via Telegram:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

Making waves on X:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Trending via Reddit:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Just shared via Threads:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Seen just now on Slack:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Making waves on YouTube:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Breaking via Pinterest:

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

Freshly posted on X:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Just shared via Telegram:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Breaking via X:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Just landed via Instagram:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Oh good. Another day.

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