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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Showing my barber a Rorschach test, and he gives me his mother’s haircut.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,413

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

Shared recently on TikTok:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Making waves on X:

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Shared recently on TikTok:

This whole week could have been an email.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

On a first date, saying “agree to disagree” every time they share anything about themselves.

Making waves on Threads:

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

Spotted on Discord:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

Seen just now on WeChat:

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

Funny joke about delivery person quotes

New funny joke about delivery person quotes 👇

All funny joke about delivery person quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on YouTube this month:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

72 shares on Slack this month:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

91 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

91 shares on X this month:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

61 shares on X this month:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

54 shares on Facebook this month:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

Pyjamas straight off a hot radiator is a winner. Damn, I’m old.

72 shares on Discord this month:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Cats are the best authoritarians. You will do their bidding, and you will like it.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Absurdity is the spice of life.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I won’t be doing Dry January, because who was there for me during the happy times and the hard times? Not broccoli.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,628

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Making waves on Reddit:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Going viral on YouTube:

It was all revealed to me in a delusion.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

Trending via WeChat:

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

Broadcasted on Discord:

Going to a DaBaby concert because I need some alone time, and I know no one else will be there.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Trending via Reddit:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

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