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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Just a reminder that you’re not allowed to hit your coworkers. Even if they’re stupid. I asked. Twice.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,252

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Spotted on Reddit:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Just landed via X:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Making waves on Messenger:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Funny lab-grown meat quotes

New funny lab-grown meat quotes 👇

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

17 hours ago

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All funny lab-grown meat quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

13 shares on Threads this month:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

33 shares on WeChat this month:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

37 shares on Discord this month:

For the record, I use a turntable.

54 shares on Discord this month:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Elevator music is bad on so many levels.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

Just shared via Slack:

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Going viral on Threads:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Just landed via Discord:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

Breaking via Snapchat:

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Trending via Messenger:

From a very young age, I knew that everyone was wrong and I was right.

Live now on Slack:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Seen just now on Reddit:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny lab-grown meat quotes

New funny lab-grown meat quotes 👇

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

All funny lab-grown meat quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨