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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2516 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,678

Funny Quotes Topics

15,346

Funny Quotes Images

12,678

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Just shared via TikTok:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

Just shared via Instagram:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Going viral on Instagram:

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

Just shared via Messenger:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2516 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,678

Funny Quotes Topics

15,346

Funny Quotes Images

12,678

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

Making waves on Threads:

Sometimes I just say “no idea” because I’m too lazy to think.

Just landed via Discord:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Just landed via WeChat:

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

Live now on Telegram:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Breaking via Threads:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Spotted on WeChat:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Just shared via YouTube:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

Making waves on Discord:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

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