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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2419 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,581

Funny Quotes Topics

15,252

Funny Quotes Images

12,581

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Making waves on Telegram:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Trending via WeChat:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Spotted on WeChat:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

Live now on TikTok:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Spotted on Threads:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

Home » Funny Lifeguard Quotes

Funny lifeguard quotes

Funny lifeguard quotes make waves 🌊 with their splash of humor and wit! Whether you’re poolside 🏊‍♂️ or beachbound 🏖️, these clever lines keep spirits high and smiles brighter than the sun ☀️. Perfect for lifeguards who love to mix safety with sass, these quotes bring a playful twist to the serious job of saving lives. Dive in and enjoy the fun! 😂🦩

New funny lifeguard quotes 👇

For even more funny lifeguard quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny lifeguard quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2419 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,581

Funny Quotes Topics

15,252

Funny Quotes Images

12,581

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

How do I un-know people?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Trending via Facebook:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Spotted on TikTok:

Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

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