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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2303 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,465

Funny Quotes Topics

15,178

Funny Quotes Images

12,465

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Seen just now on Discord:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Just landed via Discord:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Just shared via Facebook:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Trending via YouTube:

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Trending via Threads:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Just landed via YouTube:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2303 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,465

Funny Quotes Topics

15,178

Funny Quotes Images

12,465

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I only accept apologies in cash.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Making waves on Discord:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Live now on YouTube:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Going viral on WeChat:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Trending via Snapchat:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Spotted on Slack:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Trending via LinkedIn:

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

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