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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

818 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,980

Funny Quotes Topics

13,922

Funny Quotes Images

10,980

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Spotted on TikTok:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Trending via Facebook:

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Going viral on Messenger:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Just landed via Slack:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Just shared via WeChat:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Just landed via Slack:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Seen just now on Discord:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Seen just now on YouTube:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Making waves on Reddit:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

818 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,980

Funny Quotes Topics

13,922

Funny Quotes Images

10,980

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

Going viral on Threads:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Just shared via Discord:

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Spotted on WeChat:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Trending via Messenger:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Reported on Telegram:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Just landed via Snapchat:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

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