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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Staying weird for my own sanity.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,737

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Freshly posted on X:

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

Spotted on Instagram:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Going viral on Discord:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Shared recently on Twitch:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Going viral on Discord:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Spotted on Messenger:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Trending via YouTube:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Home » Funny Lock Quotes » Page 2

14 Funny lock quotes

More funny lock quotes 👇

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

0

2 months ago

busy, deleting, distraction, humor, lock, lock screen, phone, procrastination, screen, screenshot, too
The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

0

2 months ago

accidental, constant, humor, life, lock, lock screen, screen, screenshot, technology
I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

0

2 months ago

annoying, humor, i, lock, lock screen, phone, screen, self-image, selfie
When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

0

4 months ago

documentary, door, doors, going, humor, lock, locked, locked door, mystery, night, oh, old, old person, person, small, small town, start, storytelling, town

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All funny lock quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

71 shares on X this month:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Breaking via Slack:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Going viral on Pinterest:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Breaking via TikTok:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

14 Funny lock quotes

More funny lock quotes 👇

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

All funny lock quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨