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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,804

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Shared recently on Instagram:

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

Just landed via Facebook:

My lips could use some attention today.

Spotted on Instagram:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Seen just now on X:

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Freshly posted on Discord:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Just shared via Messenger:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

Breaking via X:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

Going viral on Facebook:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

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Funny making money quotes

New funny making money quotes 👇

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

0

4 days ago

9-5, 9-5 job, 95, crypto, dumb, honesty, i, influencer, influencing, job, laziness, lazy, making, making money, money, scam, self-doubt, shy, shyness, too

All funny making money quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Twitch this month:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

75 shares on X this month:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

41 shares on Threads this month:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Hold on, let me overthink this.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Going viral on Twitch:

Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

Just landed via TikTok:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Trending via TikTok:

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

Shared recently on Reddit:

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

Just shared via Instagram:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Breaking via X:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Seen just now on Threads:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

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Funny making money quotes

New funny making money quotes 👇

Too shy for influencing. Too dumb for crypto. Too honest for a scam. Too lazy for 9-5. How can I make money?

All funny making money quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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