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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Making waves on Messenger:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Spotted on TikTok:

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

Just shared via YouTube:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Just shared via Instagram:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

Just shared via Slack:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Just shared via Twitch:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

Updated

22 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

Breaking via Twitch:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Going viral on Slack:

I need money, not feelings.

Breaking via YouTube:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

Shared recently on YouTube:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Going viral on Reddit:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

Trending via Pinterest:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Just shared via Instagram:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

Live now on LinkedIn:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

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