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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Breaking via Snapchat:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Shared recently on Threads:

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

Breaking via X:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Spotted on Discord:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Making waves on YouTube:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Spotted on Reddit:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Making waves on Instagram:

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Seen just now on Threads:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Shared recently on WeChat:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

Making waves on YouTube:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Trending via Slack:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

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